On from Madgaon

In the train station I wait and I am happy. At last I know where I am going, I am going back and I have a friend who is waiting for me. Even though I don't have the shoes and my last money is used for the train ticket to Mumbai, I am deeply satisfied. I even have a few rupis to buy a bottle of water to myself.

So I sit outside of the Madgaon train station next to a post and I wait. I drink water and the sun is shining. Suddenly something happens that I had not seen for a long time. Two European girls walk by, both rather hippie-looking, and one of them is carrying a watermelon on her head, holding it with both hands.

They walk by and we smile to each other. I must have looked rather funny, with dirty hindi trouser on, barefoot, sitting cross-legged and smiling next to a post with a sunburnt face. I drink on the water and soon they come back and when they walk by again from the other direction. Again we smile to each other, but this time they come closer and are a bit interested, who is this guy.

I make inviting gestures with my fingers, asking them to come near to me and sit down as well. Surprisingly it works pretty well, but it feels a bit too commanding from my part, I was not intending to command them. But maybe I had a strong energetic impact on them and something happened and they come and sit down together with me.

Now, unfortunately (seemingly unfortunately, the love is usually well-guarded) I had also made friends with two hindi guys from Mumbai. One of them, with a black beard and sun-glasses, acted like a show-off mafia guy from a Hollywood movie and told me and boasted that he is an actor and that he had acted in an American movie. I know the hindi tendency to boast a bit, but anyway, who knows. But indeed he was a seemingly dark guy and I would not want to get in conflict with him.

So when I invited these girls next to me, this guy was also around. And of course he instantly starts to boast about his movie adventures (probably made-up stories about how cool he is and that he has a lot of contacts). I do manage to make some smiling gentle connections with the more beautiful one of the girls, the one who courageously carried the watermelon. At the same time the hindi guy is boasting.

Then another big guy, like 2m tall Canadian also comes over, he was also waiting for the train. He also sits down together with us and now it gets really complicated for me to keep the group together. The dark hindi guy and his friend + this Canadian guy, I can feel that they are all sexually focused on the girls, pretty much dark thinking how to fuck them and impress them or the other way around. This is what I feel about their sexuality, but emotionally they just want attention from the girls and want to prove to them how awesome they are.

And me in the middle of all this, trying to make a harmonious circle or a group conversation, and of course I would also like to talk to the girls, but we only manage to switch a few smiles to one another and laugh a little bit when the hindi guy gets too far in his boasting.

Then he asks to smoke joint with them and they agree and go away together with this Hollywood-mafia stories guy. When they go, she leaves her watermelon with me and tells us to give it a name.

I personally did not like how the situation was developing, not enough respect at all to the feminine and only dark sexual pleasure thinking. And indeed, when they come back from smoking, the girls are a bit frightened, I don't know what this guy told them, probably invited them over to his place in Mumbai.

They want to leave this guy behind and stop talking with him, I can see it from their frightened emotional reactions towards him. And she asks about the name of the watermelon, but at that point I was not interested in this kind of game, because I felt the energy growing too dark and the group collapsing. So she asks a bit surprisingly "No name?" And then of course it's done and the group has fallen apart.

Not a good harmonious connection at all, just because one guy taking over too aggressively and drawing in others and encouraging them to do the same.


But anyway I keep connecting with these two guys and they show me the movie trailer "Into the wild" (or was this before the girls? I think it was probably before the girls). They sense my traveller energy (after all I was barefoot, dirty clothes and no money left) and get excited about it. They ask if I had seen the movie but I had not but I had heard about it from my younger sister.

So on at the train to Mumbai at one point come over to my wagon and give me water, this I really liked. There was also one guy at the train in a suit, coming and sitting next to me and each time that the chai seller walked by (like every 30 min) he asked if I want chai and then he bought it to me and laughed because I basically never said no to his offer and I drink like 5-6 chais in a row. (Normal for hindis is 1-2 chais I think.)

He was so kind and at one point he tells me that my cardigan (the one that belonged to the German girl in Pushkar) is sandy, that there's a lot of sand on my cardigan and I should clean it. I then take it and shake it in front of the open window so that suddenly the sand goes all over to his suit and trousers with the wind. He starts to wipe it off fast and shouts: "What are you doing?!" and the old hindi lady next to us starts to chuckle amazingly and I also start to laugh really hard.

Anyway I keep good friends together with this guy and he tells that he can help me with tickets and all but when we get to Mumbai of course he just buys me another chai and then leaves me there. He was a business-man and told me before on the train that he was very rich and 50,000 rupis would not be a problem to him (conversation on topics how to get back to Europe). Hindis-hindis always boasting :)

Then I am again in Mumbai train station, very dirty place, this time barefoot and without money, and have to take it from there. First I take a rest and sit down on a bench, meditating and trusting. Something has to happen next.