nn

I cannot help but to think about these dreams, that, if left unfulfilled will haunt you down and ask for your kind permission to live them through, as if you were again taken by these mysterious feelings, dancing somewhere unnoticably....

Rising from the midsts of the flow, caring and cunning at the same time... who would you prefer, a person who is alive or....

These translations from the space.

shortie

I am watching again Le Nozze di Figaro, one of my favourite operas. I feel that nowadays there's this kind of timing issue, that we rush towards shallow tasks with such pace that we don't have the daylight or courage to actually feel things through.

I love how in this opera the emotional problems of characters are played out in such a charming and passionate way, that one cannot help but to adore it...

about music and experience

I couldn't help but to follow the music, the feelings inside me grew stronger to a such degree that I yearned for it, I yearned to feel myself on a deep soul level. And how did I get this connection? When I felt a strong emotion, something that really needed instant clarification, I would sit down with the piano and play it out, play it out, my friend, and the notes would start to sing a tune from the tense aspect of me, and it would go like this: [example code, enter a music piece of impro]

I would start to dance with this and I could go really far with it. I would have such an obsession to singing, or these deep unhealed aspects of the true soul, from the heart, from other, deeper and more peaceful levels of being... I would take the guitar and play two notes and it would calm down the entire atmosphere around me, or the space around me, let's say 10 meters to each side.

When you see it, you know it, and it will take you where you are, and it will show you. I had to realise very fast that I am who I am and put it into practice to the fullest. Looking back, I see now that there were also more ancient things speaking through these events, but when doing this, you need to be on such a level of acceptance, that you do an extraordinary mindblowing thing and then instantly forget about it, because another task needs to be done from a completely different anger (I wanted to say angel, sorry, no, angle.)

Let's say that there are these beings who need you to understand some core aspects of their reality very fast, and even if it is new to you, you need to cooperate and accept what you are being told and integrate it into your practice.

I could also describe it as a constant travel between different groups and small cosy realities, each group giving some new piece of information. I have forgotten a lot already I suspect, but things turned out to be a little bit different anyway...

muid

päevade
jooksul
on
palju
mis
väsitab

ära
mu
alustust
liigagi
väsita

algul
on
uhkus
ja
kadunud
au

algul
on
kadunud
varastus
aus.

pulkade
suumides
ununeb
hing

varguste
tuledes
ahistub
sind

armasta
ega
see
ulugi
mind

viia
mu
kadunud
väsinud
hing

lahti
on
tulek
ja
muuhulgas
tuul
vesi
on
tulnud
on
kadunud
puud

paraku
tulekul
kunagi
tuul

sadu
on
kustund
on
kadunud
puud...

vee
ei
tule
vee
ei
näe
para
ta
matu
ja
hajunud
hääl

heia

Kunagi tõesti
ehk
tuled
mu
vend

ahjude
kuuest
ei
leia

paljude
kauguste
kadunud
vend

paljude
laipade
Miia

karjudes
kuuletub
haavunud
tuul

tulek
on
tulnud
on
meel.

paraku
leidunud
viin
oli kuur'

kus
on
mu
ahjude
hing.

kus
on
mu
köök
ja
mu
kodu.
kus
on
mu
unistus
suur.

kus
on
mu
ehitus
luba
kus
on
mu
kadunud
juur.

miskit

ilmekas
ununud
autu

aru
on
ulus
on
tuul.

tule
kui
unud
mu
kallim

palju
on
uhtunud
suur.

tänava
kivide
nurgal

pahju
kus
palju
kus
patju?

ei
tule
ei
suuna
ei
saada

mu
sula
mu
kuunar
mu
leek.

kia
on
kustund
on
tulku'

tulku'
on
tuldud
on
suur

viia
ma
suren
ma
hulgun

ahastus
kustutab
leek.

aru
on
hullude
tulek

kulu
on
purunend
voor

siiani
peaaegu
oleks
ahjude
kadunud
vool.

hästi
ma
leian
su
siiski

tead ju
ma
uurisin
end

ahjude
taga
on
kuues

tule
mu
kadunud
vend.

midagi minu seest, otse

kõnnidki
räpasel merel.
ja
taamal
on
haihtunud
vead.

paljugi
punast
on
meres.

õhtu,
mu kallis
sa tead.

teangi
et tuleb
ta juurest

see
haavatud
kohutav
laud

see
punane
soojuse
sära

see
hävinud
kauguste
laul

see kuna
mis
kustunud
verest

see algus
ja
haavu
ei näe

parem
kui
olekski
terend

tere
on
ahtunud
veal

paratamatult
on tore
kutsuda
ahtuda
kaun

ahju
on
suur
on
uhkus

on
aru
ja
unu
ja
paun.

kõrvalt
kui
vaatad
kas
tundub

nii
terav
see
kustunud
keel

päraka
tulku'
ja
hambus

varastad
kumedaid
luid.