When I enter Mumbai, I am very tired, frustrated and angry. I don't have too much money left and I am a bit unsure and confused where to go next. It is already night time I think and I sit on a bench and try to rest a bit. The station is quite big, I think that first I go to the exit, but then the streets are so dirty and not too welcoming at all, so that I decide to simply sit on a bench and then I go back inside.
There are some stairs I remember and then I get a sudden impulse from somewhere and get very angry. I am already so tired and then I use all my willpower to get out of that situation. For some reason, I don't remember why, I get very angry and motivated and then decide that I want to go to Goa. I decide that I will do whatever it takes to get there.
I start to see the signs that point to the entrances where you can buy the tickets. I follow these signs and then I go to one desk where they sell tickets to Goa I think. And I say to that person: "To Goa." And he gives me the ticket and asks about 200 rupis, I think it was 220 or something. I was a bit surprised that it happened so fast, I was not expecting such a quick solution. I was a bit stuck at that station and I did not even know if it was the correct desk or not, and besides that, Goa is a big place and I did not even mention the correct name of the train stop. (Now I google it, I think it was Madgaon or something with an M)
So I get the ticket and the amazing journey through the night air starts. I remember that I was sitting on the doorway, feet outside and watching the landscape and trees and the night air of the southern India pass by, it was such a mysterious and amazing part of this journey.
...
I don't want to describe it any further, it is better to remain in the night and in the shadow; but as the train continues and the morning arises, there is nowhere to go and I cannot help it, the Goa is slowly approaching, now, what can I do? I am attempting to escape these memories but there is nowhere to go. But maybe it is more suitable to continue in the morning or on another day...
It feels a bit like I know what is ahead now but it is a bit too... how do you say? important? At least for me it is very important. I don't want to devalue the experience but I also don't want to take too long of a time to retell it. It is very personal and quite mysterious and interesting also. I am talking about... But it is a bit too much.
The thing is, noone can do this for me, but let's say something ... beautiful? was about to happen ... I don't know where to start to describe this. It has to do with so much different things and I haven't gotten not so much feedback to the aspects that I am refering to. Well, I have gotten some feedback, but how to start...
And last night or a night before that I also had a dream... I was re-experiencing this kind of move or dimensional switch... And it showed me that I had entered into quite a deep layer of my heart, it was like a gateway in the middle of my heart showing the place that I was about to enter, but it was also about to get more deeper and intense, I could sense or feel this a little bit.
...
Who knows? ...
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