How to let go of the dearest thing?

I am still holding on to a memory, I cannot get past it. Why must it be so personal, so intimate, so important? At one point I managed to tell it, but as it turns out, it was not enough. I seemingly got rid of it by sharing it, but it was shared as secretly as possible and now I feel that it actually did not solve or dissolve it at all.

And that there was even much more, all tied together, one experience to another thru a secret link between different hidden areas or aspects of the dimensions. The shaolin masters will know a bit about this. When I could not find... It is maybe a bit too much at once... skipping different...

I even got a mention in Starchild Global by Michael, talking about lightwarriors making a timeline jump. But what now still disturbs me and keeps me a little bit uneasy, is the emotional part of it. Maybe sometimes it turns out that a journey is a bit too overwhelming to tell... Somehow I have managed to get until to this point, but now... What if a thing is so intense...

I am alone and I feel that my heart is not yet ready to allow you to see that which I have protected and overprotected from anyone to see... Who are we really? A young shaolin master making a crazy intuitive jump only to face the pain of ... what?

A tiny impulse... Leading to a small sign... As if I was someone who... would be able to... do the job of a long-lost, forgotten grandmother or a grandmaster... The boy inside me does not want to grow up; it refuses to become more man -> yes, hold the child position, Taavi! Hide yourself in the divine feminine and pretend to be just a child and nothing more! ...

But infact, in truth, I am able to describe these parts of the journey, it might even turn out - most probably - that there isn't anyone else to tell this story. After all, it is my experience.

Ha ha... half-awaken shaolin yogi to correct the distant timelines and regather the storm... be prepared... beware, believe in yourself! Gather the storm secretly, Taavi.

Why do I refuse and why do I hide? Who is this behind this mask of a child? The ancient yogis have returned, I can tell you this... When you do too much yoga, you might cry a lot. Maybe at one point then, you can give people back their emotional body... This is what I have been working with. To correct the ancient timelines that got disrupted... The long-lost beloved one and letting go of her... unsuccessfully. I can tell you this: it was not just me, it happened here before. Now I need to find out, wtf has been going on. Why no harmony and balance, why like this, brothers?

But I will not lead you to that seaside... no way.. this is too much. Until it is done. The crazy thing is, that it is already done. Storytelling leads me back to the pain, though. But it is good to know that there are greater and more ancient forces and thing than this... Do you remember the... eagles? But this is already a bit too much. Will be back when I am stronger and the heart is more in tune with the gentle flow of love.. May we be happy, may we be well, may we be peaceful and at ease.