When I enter Goa, it is already morning time. The train had taken me through the night and now it was already quite light, and I can tell you, the climate was also pretty hot.
So I am at this local train station, not really knowing, what to do or where to go next. I walk here and there and I am at a bit unease and sit on benches. Suddenly a white-clothed older male starts to approach me and ask questions. It turns out that he was a pervert (he was also drunk), but first he asks me to follow him and I go with him for a while, he says that he wants to show me something but I don't understand it too well.
He then leads me and takes me to the showers of the train station and ass me to go and take a shower, at the same time sneaking on the doorway and sending me glimpses. I then understand that he is a true pervert and decide that it is time to leave him; of course I don't take naked and go under that shower while he himself set up this trap to watch me from the doorway while I would be washing myself.
It is like a sign or a warning that I should continue with my journey. So I manage to shake off this guy and go outside of the train station, to the other side. Then there's a guy with a motorbike waiting outside of the station, on the other side of the road. I go to him and we start to talk and he's a taxi guy and asks me where do I want to go. I tell him: "seaside" or something like that and he tells me that it would be 300 rupis.
I know that this is quite expensive for a taxi but decide that like what the heck, and I say yes and go with him. He drives me towards the ocean, it is like few kilometers. He then drops me to the beach and drives away or goes back.
I am now at the beach and start to walk towards the waves. It is my first time next to a big ocean and I suddenly understand thatt is nowhere else to go. Do you understand, this is it!! There is nowhere else to run away or to go anymore. The journey is over, there's like a big ocean next to me and there's nowhere else to go. I take off my shirt and walk into the waves and cry and cry, it was so overwhelming and good and soul-satisfying at the same time. A lonely traveller reaching the ocean, the end destination for a drop of water.
Again I get very angry and walk and run deep into the waves and as they arrive I punch them with my fists and scream a bit. I had reached the ocean and I was angry towards all and everything and it was emotionally a lot. Then our dear mother gives me a sign again, a crab or something from under the water bites me in the ass. I scream suddenly and jump and shake it off and walk back onto the shore.
I go to my clothes and sunbathe a bit, after all, it is a very beautiful beach and I enjoy my first time next to an ocean. Soon I feel that it is time to walk on and continue with the travel; I start to walk on the sand with the ocean on my right side. I go on and on, the public beach ends and then I start to switch the dimensions.
I get a strong sense of overwhelming emotional waves, I cry and cry and basically collapse emotionally many times. I know that I have lost my beloved wife and that I am far away from my home. I understand that the solitude is not the answer, I do not want it, it is not the key, my heart longs for my beloved. I go on and on and promise and vow to myself with all of my being, as fully as I can: "I am going to walk on, until I find my beloved wife and my true home!" I cry and cry and I walk on and on.
It is truly a timeless dimension, it was like an eternal seaside, completely just with me, the ocean and the sand, and me walking on. Deciding to walk on forever, until I find my beloved wife and my home.
I have my Puma slippers in my hand and at one point I get a sudden impulse from my higher guidance or intuition to drop them! I know that it would be crazy, but I drop them an continue walking, knowing that from now on it is barefoot. As I do this, I get this sudden flashback vision and understanding that I am seeking the same thing at that oceanside and next to the lake Võrtsjärv in Estonia where I grew up, they are like the same dimension or vortex, the oceanside is simply a bigger version of that vortex next to lake Võrtsjärv and that these two bodies of water are interconnected.
In my vision I see this link very clearly, that on a higher-level dimension I have come to seek the same thing next to that oceanside and next to lake Võrtsjärv in Estonia. I walk on without the shoes and I go farther and farther from the public beach.
A guy with a bicycle rides towards me hands free and smiles and passes on with a smile. I also help a couple whose bicycle was a bit broken, the chain had come off and I help to put it back on. They thank me and I continue. I walk on and soon I see that on the left side in the bushes there's a guy living naked and probably masturbating to himself, I don't like this idea of freedom and continue.
At one point, as I walk on, an eagle comes to me from somewhere and starts to accompany me by flying behind me, very close to me, few meters above my head, sometimes making small circles or switching side, but always following me. So I walk on together with this eagle. Soon a second eagle flies to me and starts to accompany me, a bit more farther than the first one. So I walk on together with these two eagles. On the ocean there are many white ships, I mean ships with white sails. They also silently accompany me.
I walk on and at one point there's a small forest trail leading into the jungle on the left. My higher self now tells me to quit the seaside nad follow that small pathway or a trail into the forest. I am barefoot and without much equipmet (some clothes and water), but I decide to take this path.
Now I connect with a dream that I had long ago in my public school essay, I was writing about my dream, about a favourite place, and it was describing a place like this. A jungle pathway next to a warm ocean and palm trees. In that essay it was my dream place or the best place to be in, you know, but now it turned out that it was the worst place to be in, or the most challenging one, at least emotionally.
So I go on that pathway and turn away from the oceanside.
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