stories from Finland, 2013

The notes of time and the timeline entry points from one realm to another.

It sometimes happens, that the events around you tend to culminate towards the more heartful or yourful space, and this is when great transactions and initiations can occur.

My first heavy reality shift that I remember was in Finland, in my first Ting gathering in December, 2013. I suddenly found myself in a parallel reality, realising that I was at a wedding, where I was the husband and I knew who was about to be my wife.

It was such a shift that I suddenly woke up in the main room (sleeping on a table top with a sleeping bag) and then, from this parallel reality perspective, I saw why everyone was there and what was their role in my wedding.

There was the wedding fool and people who had different parts in this, I don't remember the exact parts so well any more. Then, right when we were celebrating the New Year's Eve, I was sitting next to my bride, who I remember very well and whose name was Emmi.

We were very happy and joyful and for a moment, right before the New Year's Eve, we were sitting next to each other and we said a few words and the love level was so high, that no worries didn't matter.

How did I find this beautiful girl?

Well, it was an international Ting gathering, and there were also people providing free workshops. Then there was this girl who I really liked by her looks and her being, and she had said that she is providing Reiki energy healing.

I had a throat blockage a cold and a cough, and I was also interested in her as a person. So I approached her and asked if she could give me a Reiki healing. She smiled so beautifully and she was such a nice girl. Then she said "Sure," or something like that.

I think that we could not do it right away, but proposed to do it after a while. You know, the gathering was lasting for many days. I think that I was there from Dec 27/2013 to Jan 6/2014. So, maybe the next day, in the end of December 2013 we met again and she said that yes, she can give me this Reiki energy healing.

For some reason we went outside of the house and started to search for the healing room. I didn't know where the rooms were, but she knew and I started to walk together with her, towards the first one.

The first one was the standard energy healing room in Ting, but it was full - this means that someone was already doing the work there. Then we walked out of that house and to the next one, but this was also closed or blocked. Then we went back to the front of the main house, and she was getting a bit unsure and confused.

According to her intuition, she said that she is a bit confused and unsure. But then she said that there was also another option called the "Love House". This actually meant the house where couples in Ting could have undisturbed sex without disturbing others - this is what I think was the purpose of that house.

We both knew it but she said that there could be a room free anyway to do the Reiki energy healing. So we started to walk towards the Love House, I was simply following her guidance and had great trust in her abilities and intuition. I was also encouraging her and making sure that she would feel comfortable and natural, should any kind of unexpected weird events come up.

So we walked together towards that house and indeed there was a room free. There was a bed and a few candles on the window-shelf. There were also matches.

She said that we could do the energy healing there, and I was already smiling and looking forward to this big nice bed. Then she took the matches and tried to light a candle to provide cosy atmosphere.

But the candle wouldn't take the light and it went off. She tried again with another match and it failed again. Then she said that we should not do the energy healing and that maybe she was not supposed to heal me at all.

I agreed and fully trusted her and simply followed her guidance and we left the room and went back to the main house. Then there she talked about how weird and unsure this had been, mysterious and magical. It seemed that she was even more in awe than me, even though it was her who was guiding me and leading :)

Then we were standing in the hallway of that main house and starting to discuss more about it. She said that she was still confused and I tried to comfort her. I said to her that we had very similar auric fields and for some reason I couldn't sometimes feel a difference between my energy field and hers, as I would with other people.

I laughed and we laughed as I was sensing her aura with my hand and I said: "Maybe we have the same aura." And she said: "That's creepy!" and laughed. Then she told me that the reason she had cancelled the healing was that she had felt this:

The only way how to heal me would have been a blow job.

I understood because I had felt exactly the same in that room, but I had kept quiet and simply been trusting her feelings and guidance. I told her not to worry about it and not to consider it weird, but I was also comforting myself, because she seemed to be very ok with this anyway, smiling and laughing.

Later I told her that she had been my wife in my Finnish past life and I also told her that souls tend to travel together in soul groups, and sometimes switch the roles for different reasons. When I was telling her this, she laughed and said that she had definitely been my mom. I said quickly: "A couple of times!" and laughed to get out of this uncomfortable situation.

I realized that I can not hold on to a past-life relationship like that, and even though I was starting to get close to her again, a part of me was feeling that it was not right and that I could and should rather move on with my life.

I was about to go to India in January and I really liked her, so I decided to make this test and ask if she would come with me, it was from my higher self. She said no, she had a dancing school and said thanks for asking. Again I told her not to worry about it.

Well, then there was this New Year's Eve that I already described and then, a few days later, on Jan 5th I think, there was a very interesting thing going on. Before when I had this parallel reality experience and after we had been served food and there was a dancing in our honor, I had left and suddenly felt very alone and asked for help.

I was in a different dimension now, a parallel wedding thing, but now I was alone and had no idea what to do, and I felt sadness and pain. I realized that when Emmi was not there, I didn't want to be there either, only seeing other people's higher selves. So I asked to be guided and to get out of there and my wish was granted and I smoothly came back to the ordinary Ting reality.

But now, I had already decided to leave the Estonian group with whom I had come there, keeping my love affair or falling in love with Emmi secret to them. They were driving back to Estonia and I told them I would stay in Finland and not come with them.

Every day some person would then ask me how and when I would leave, so I had to give them answers. But at the same time I wanted to keep my love affair secret. I had to get to Helsinki somehow for Jan 8th, to get on the airplane on Jan 9th from Tallinn to New Delhi. So I was keeping my eyes open for opportunities and I managed to find a travel companion, who was an older Swedish hippie-looking woman.

We were about to hitch-hike to her place first on Jan 6th and later I would go to Helsinki from there. So I had already arranged that on Jan 6th I would go together with her in the morning.

But the night before, between 5th and 6th, I had to make this decision whether or not to stay true to Emmi. You know, I was still very fond of her and in love and I wanted to make sure that I don't make any mistakes there. So I made this kind of promise to myself:

If we happen to kiss before I leave for India, I would stay true to her, otherwise I am free.

But there in the night something happened. I was so strong and willful in my promise, I mean I kept  repeating it in my mind, that somehow the realities started to shift again. I was lying down and been taking higher and higher through different realms of happiness. For example, I saw a blissful musician yogi, but he was still in a much lower state of happiness that I was about to go.

So I laid down and kept saying to myself things such as: "I fully trust" and "I love" and "I am fully open and trusting and allowing." And then suddenly someone visited me. Suddenly there was a half-dreamlike experience, but it was very real because of the touch and the feeling.

There appeared a woman next to my bed, touching my big toe of the left foot very gently, and at the same time giving me a kiss. I had not felt such direct tender love before, and it was kind of a first kiss for me, even though not fully physical (So it counts in some dimensions, but not the others. It was kind of promise-kiss to myself to stay pure and committed and that there is someone who truly supports me.) She was dressed in orange and black and had beautiful brown hair.

So then I knew that this promise had been made and that I should stay pure in India. Emmi was sleeping in the same room, but there was already another guy sometimes going to her and talking, ans so I felt that I can simply leave in the morning without even waking her up or disturbing her, without any unnecessary attachments or traumas. It would have been painful to leave her anyway. Listen.

The night before or this night I had been searching for her in deep pain, but she was nowhere in the gathering so I sat down in agony and pain. Then a woman approached me, feeling compassion and said: "There's a laughing workshop going on, do you want to come and join?" And I went with her and in that workshop, a lot of my pain was healed.