So, after they find out that I have willingly dropped my backpack, I think that they got a bit suspicious about me. Who is this guy and is he trying to trick us? Is he just living here and outplaying others by not working and eating for free? Ravi had some masterdom in this, but now he had met an opponent and it was not so nice.
So what I think they do is that they set a trap. I don't know who did it or where the attack was coming from, but it went like this:
There was a young single Canadian woman with her daughter also staying at the guesthouse. We were all getting along together very well and she was like family to us, also enjoying the company of our forming international community at the guesthouse of Aravali.
One night when I chose to sleep at the rooftop in open air (I could sometimes do this, when there were no guests), I had an interesting dream in the morning. I saw that I was back to my parents' house where I had grown up and I had this small parrot again. But the window was getting a bit open and the parrot in it's cage was hanging near the window. And then suddenly a cat appeared outside the window and attacked the parrot! I got a bit shocked and jumped between them, trying to separate them from each other. I managed to do it and the cat went away (outside the window) and the parrot (a budgerigar) was badly wounded and barely survived.
It was a shocking dream but as the day went on, I forgot about it. Then later in the day I hear that there had been this theft in the morning and money was stolen from the room of that Canadian woman.
I don't want to go into details about this, but later again they stole money from her. Then there were also people coming to that guesthouse and starting to do drugs and drug business (there's more to it but it's a bit private topic and I was not too involved in this); and one old man was also coming who in the past had sold weapons to Africa for hunting, and he tried to approach me sexually after giving me whiskey. Of course he was unsuccessful and I have my limits.
Then of course they start to accuse me in the theft and also they wanted to send me to the embassy in Delhi, hoping that they would get some money from me this way? And they told me to solve the theft and I actually found the real thief, but then they start to lie and deny about it. How I see it, they were probably colluding with each other. I get some warnings and they start to behave in a real dominating way with me, for example, one guest asking for pen and somebody said to me: "Taavi, now you go to the shop and bring 5 pens." And I reply: "I don't think so.." And he's like: "What??" in a very angry tone. Then I'm like: "Ok, nothing, whatever, I will go." And leaving the building, happy that I could manage a little bit with my anger.
Then on the street in front of an internet cafe' I meet a guy who had previously also offered me a job at their guesthouse, I was also sometimes using internet at their place. This time I accept and start talking with him and tell him that I will later come back there and they we will go. Then I also bring the pens to Ravi.
When I had it arranged with the next guy, one day I suddenly quit and simply tell the boss that I am going, without much pre-warning. So I leave and change the guesthouse after 3 weeks of working there.
There was also more to this story and I could have actually left even few days sooner, but some very important things kept me there.
reede, 29. aprill 2016
neljapäev, 28. aprill 2016
Talking with Piyush and passing the test of truthfulness
One time Piyush from Jodhpur was making a tourist trip to Pushkar, and of course we meet at the rooftop of Aravali. One night we stay there a bit longer and everyone else leaves. So we could talk very openly and we felt deep soul connection, he told me that I am like a younger brother to him.
He starts to tell me that he has a reputation of a guru there, that he likes to educate people about sexuality and that he is also healing the relationships between young couples, the solution usually being: get physically together and don't be afraid to have sex with each other! He was talking about couples that are already together but avoid each other and are a bit afraid, and he told that after sex they usually feel more comfortable with each other.
He was very passionate about what he was talking and you could feel the strong joyful vital energy around him. He then asked me about my sexual history and again I did not want to tell about it and gave him an unsure small lie: "Two..." and avoided the topic as much as I could, but I was already very interested and starting to trust him.
He then continued talking about his sexual life very openly and talking stories and educating. He also said that he has a lot of friends and that he does not like when they lie to him. He said that there's no point in lying, and in fact, with a smile, if some of his friends lies to him, he likes to slap them. Just be truthful and honest, he said. And he continued with the topic.
I then started to feel a bit bad, having lied to such a nice guy, but I was just being afraid also and protecting my own private field, feeling a bit attacked by the aggressive sexual questions of some of the hindi guys. Until then I had not felt that I should tell too many people the truth, that I had had no woman. I did not want the attention of others to go onto that fact, I felt that they could start to overexaggerate this or bullying or something like this.
But then he again came to the topic of truthfulness and I could not hold it any more. I told him: "Will you slap me?" He asked me: "Why?" - "Because I just lied to you. In fact I have had no women. I'm a virgin." He then laughed a bit enthusiastically and gave me a soft friendly slap.
From that point our friendship was truly strong. He asked me if I would like to come to Jodhpur at some point and bring two European girls with me. Haha. Now it was starting to get very interesting and I had to be cunning and careful, but also maintaining the truthful friendship, to pass the gate that was now opening to me.
They wanted me to: a) lose my virginity (they wanted to also help me with this!) and b) get them European women. How I saw it was an opportunity to move to another place, not really interested in either a) or b), unless a) is a true love.
We exchanged contacts and kept talking, but I did not go to Jodhpur right away. As it turned out, I had still much to do and the situations were getting hot. In fact, I had anoher lie on my back which was not so easy to escape. When arriving Aravali, I had told Ravi that I lost my backback, and not dropped it willingly. So he saw me as a person who needs help, not a stupid madman.
But soon, as the dishwashing went on, many lies started to rise on the surface and I could also not escape my own's. It was starting to get hot.
He starts to tell me that he has a reputation of a guru there, that he likes to educate people about sexuality and that he is also healing the relationships between young couples, the solution usually being: get physically together and don't be afraid to have sex with each other! He was talking about couples that are already together but avoid each other and are a bit afraid, and he told that after sex they usually feel more comfortable with each other.
He was very passionate about what he was talking and you could feel the strong joyful vital energy around him. He then asked me about my sexual history and again I did not want to tell about it and gave him an unsure small lie: "Two..." and avoided the topic as much as I could, but I was already very interested and starting to trust him.
He then continued talking about his sexual life very openly and talking stories and educating. He also said that he has a lot of friends and that he does not like when they lie to him. He said that there's no point in lying, and in fact, with a smile, if some of his friends lies to him, he likes to slap them. Just be truthful and honest, he said. And he continued with the topic.
I then started to feel a bit bad, having lied to such a nice guy, but I was just being afraid also and protecting my own private field, feeling a bit attacked by the aggressive sexual questions of some of the hindi guys. Until then I had not felt that I should tell too many people the truth, that I had had no woman. I did not want the attention of others to go onto that fact, I felt that they could start to overexaggerate this or bullying or something like this.
But then he again came to the topic of truthfulness and I could not hold it any more. I told him: "Will you slap me?" He asked me: "Why?" - "Because I just lied to you. In fact I have had no women. I'm a virgin." He then laughed a bit enthusiastically and gave me a soft friendly slap.
From that point our friendship was truly strong. He asked me if I would like to come to Jodhpur at some point and bring two European girls with me. Haha. Now it was starting to get very interesting and I had to be cunning and careful, but also maintaining the truthful friendship, to pass the gate that was now opening to me.
They wanted me to: a) lose my virginity (they wanted to also help me with this!) and b) get them European women. How I saw it was an opportunity to move to another place, not really interested in either a) or b), unless a) is a true love.
We exchanged contacts and kept talking, but I did not go to Jodhpur right away. As it turned out, I had still much to do and the situations were getting hot. In fact, I had anoher lie on my back which was not so easy to escape. When arriving Aravali, I had told Ravi that I lost my backback, and not dropped it willingly. So he saw me as a person who needs help, not a stupid madman.
But soon, as the dishwashing went on, many lies started to rise on the surface and I could also not escape my own's. It was starting to get hot.
kolmapäev, 27. aprill 2016
How I have healed the damaged fields.
The art of masturbation and feeling comfortable sexually. Do not ((just)) read this.
__
When you think of your memories, you might also notice that the most embarassing moments, you usually remember them very well. It's like they are sexually stored. Think about it, when was the last time something happened that made you feel sexually uncomfortable? Unsure etc.? I think that these moments are in fact very easy to remember, but it could require some sexual work.
:::
For men,
So then, when you masturbate, you can feel comfortable with yourself. And for example, if you have 8th chakra a bit open you can also heal the energies from past lives, such as when you were raped etc. Thus you will connect your 8th chakra with your 2nd sexual chakra, and when you come, you can eat the sperm and get lot of info from it.
You can also rub the intel on your abdomenal area for additional protection, it is actually very helpful if you're about to enter an area where your feelings could be targeted by sharp and violent thoughts.
Also if you eat the sperm, it will heal you! When in the sexual action (atm I am talking about masturbation, not too much experience in partner sex yet), you are uniting the energies around you, the healthy ones and unhealthy ones, aggressive, joyful, everything flows through you. Then when you come you will feel the current energy of that orgasm and then when you reaccess that energy by eating it, it also connects your physical body and 1st chakra to the same energy flow, thus allowing to integrate all of this in a very healthy way.
What I would also highly recommend is to quit porn. I would say that masturbate a lot, whenever you feel like, but try to do it consciously and not wasting the energy on someone's picture. Instead you could use it to get to know your own body, thoughts and feelings, you will find out your own sexual rhytm, how to hold the passion with breathing, learning to control and direct it and so on.
Also when entering an area where there are big energetic imbalances (such as Rajasthan where they have exploded nuclear energies underground and in the past), you can actually heal the area by uniting the energies again through masturbation, as the aggressive feelings and frustrating thought patterns approach you. When you start getting very frustrated, you can unite it by simply coming off. And of course, I believe that this is for women also, even though these areas might be a bit tough ones to handle if you are highly sensitive and tender.
Also it might work very well if you have a partner who is also aware of this and willing to do it. Then there will also be a strong love connection :)
__
When you think of your memories, you might also notice that the most embarassing moments, you usually remember them very well. It's like they are sexually stored. Think about it, when was the last time something happened that made you feel sexually uncomfortable? Unsure etc.? I think that these moments are in fact very easy to remember, but it could require some sexual work.
:::
For men,
So then, when you masturbate, you can feel comfortable with yourself. And for example, if you have 8th chakra a bit open you can also heal the energies from past lives, such as when you were raped etc. Thus you will connect your 8th chakra with your 2nd sexual chakra, and when you come, you can eat the sperm and get lot of info from it.
You can also rub the intel on your abdomenal area for additional protection, it is actually very helpful if you're about to enter an area where your feelings could be targeted by sharp and violent thoughts.
Also if you eat the sperm, it will heal you! When in the sexual action (atm I am talking about masturbation, not too much experience in partner sex yet), you are uniting the energies around you, the healthy ones and unhealthy ones, aggressive, joyful, everything flows through you. Then when you come you will feel the current energy of that orgasm and then when you reaccess that energy by eating it, it also connects your physical body and 1st chakra to the same energy flow, thus allowing to integrate all of this in a very healthy way.
What I would also highly recommend is to quit porn. I would say that masturbate a lot, whenever you feel like, but try to do it consciously and not wasting the energy on someone's picture. Instead you could use it to get to know your own body, thoughts and feelings, you will find out your own sexual rhytm, how to hold the passion with breathing, learning to control and direct it and so on.
Also when entering an area where there are big energetic imbalances (such as Rajasthan where they have exploded nuclear energies underground and in the past), you can actually heal the area by uniting the energies again through masturbation, as the aggressive feelings and frustrating thought patterns approach you. When you start getting very frustrated, you can unite it by simply coming off. And of course, I believe that this is for women also, even though these areas might be a bit tough ones to handle if you are highly sensitive and tender.
Also it might work very well if you have a partner who is also aware of this and willing to do it. Then there will also be a strong love connection :)
esmaspäev, 25. aprill 2016
Talking with hindi people about sexuality
When I worked in Pushkar, I often walked on the street as well and made friends with local youngsters. In the evenings they were sometimes making campfires or simply sitting on chairs and smoking in front of their stalls. They were always so welcome and open, inviting me to smoke with them or drink chai and talk.
The young men were often very curious about my sexuality. The conversation could easily start like this:
The young hindi guy: Hello! Where you're from?
Me: Estonia.
Him: Are you married?
Me: No.
Him: Do you have a girlfriend? When was the last time you had sex?
Me: Erm....
Him: How many times you had sex? How was it?
Me: What...
Him: Starts to talk about (probably a made-up story) how he met a girl and had great time with her and details about the intercourse.
But for me these conversations were a little bit confusing at the beginning. First, I was not used to talk about these subjects because of the culture room where I was coming from, in Estonia the approach was different and usually people were not talking about sexuality so openly. And second, of course I was a virgin at that time (I was 22 years old) and in fact had not even physically kissed a girl yet.
But I think that they had this image in mind that usually young men in the west have sex all the time with different beautiful white girls and they know how to get them. So they were also just curious about how to get the white girls and how to attract them.
I also saw that for them it was important for a personal reputation if a guy had had successful sex with a woman or not. So there was for example one tailor about 30 years old, who bragged about his sexuality and that he had had like 100+ woman or something (probably a brag) and asked how many women I had had sex with.
I was like what, I had no idea what he expects from me and thought that if I told at THAT point to him that I was a virgin it would be way too much, so I said: "Two?" meaning the two times I had fallen a bit love with somebody. And he started to laugh and did not believe it at all and said: "Haha, good joke! Cmon, you can tell me? 40 women? It must be at least 20?" I probably looked quite tall and handsome to him, a perfect guy who would get all the women. And he did not believe me at all and tried to make me talk about my sex adventures, which I had not had.
I will make a pause at this point, but it is a very important topic and I will come back to it.
The young men were often very curious about my sexuality. The conversation could easily start like this:
The young hindi guy: Hello! Where you're from?
Me: Estonia.
Him: Are you married?
Me: No.
Him: Do you have a girlfriend? When was the last time you had sex?
Me: Erm....
Him: How many times you had sex? How was it?
Me: What...
Him: Starts to talk about (probably a made-up story) how he met a girl and had great time with her and details about the intercourse.
But for me these conversations were a little bit confusing at the beginning. First, I was not used to talk about these subjects because of the culture room where I was coming from, in Estonia the approach was different and usually people were not talking about sexuality so openly. And second, of course I was a virgin at that time (I was 22 years old) and in fact had not even physically kissed a girl yet.
But I think that they had this image in mind that usually young men in the west have sex all the time with different beautiful white girls and they know how to get them. So they were also just curious about how to get the white girls and how to attract them.
I also saw that for them it was important for a personal reputation if a guy had had successful sex with a woman or not. So there was for example one tailor about 30 years old, who bragged about his sexuality and that he had had like 100+ woman or something (probably a brag) and asked how many women I had had sex with.
I was like what, I had no idea what he expects from me and thought that if I told at THAT point to him that I was a virgin it would be way too much, so I said: "Two?" meaning the two times I had fallen a bit love with somebody. And he started to laugh and did not believe it at all and said: "Haha, good joke! Cmon, you can tell me? 40 women? It must be at least 20?" I probably looked quite tall and handsome to him, a perfect guy who would get all the women. And he did not believe me at all and tried to make me talk about my sex adventures, which I had not had.
I will make a pause at this point, but it is a very important topic and I will come back to it.
laupäev, 23. aprill 2016
How I currently see the chakra system of this universe // humans
Short overview and some thoughts.
So we meet at this old Grey base but we managed to escape;
what they're doing here is that they were basically trapping people and
souls from different galaxies into these box-houses, feeding them
intel that distracts them from finding out their galactic origins;
that is, they don't want to let them to go beyond the 7th chakra.
In fact, many of them have the 1.-2. chakra imbalances, which are collectively
so big that they cannot even get past that.
The world globally is stuck at the 3rd chakra and making many unsuccesful
transitions to the 4th chakra (the female heart) in the past,
thus exploding and damaging the feeling centre even more.
Now the transition from the 3rd to the 4th chakra must occur; and mostly it
is being held back because of the unhealty power patterns I think, that is,
many people I think still believe that they have a right to mind-manipulate
and control other souls? that is, give orders in unhealthy ways.
We humans are actually meant to function in 12 chakras:
1. - survival and food, grounding
2. - sexuality, creativity, playfulness
3. - the feeling center, communication, power
4. - heart: divine love, caring, compassion // we're unable to get past it unless
we learn unselfish love, love that transcends the ego as well. It is simply a
condition that is required to get past this level or chakra, otherwise you would
again do too much damage in the higher realms. So we need to learn and practice
divine love, caring and compassion.
5. - throat chakra, singing, sound, creating atmosphere, harmonious relationships with other,
speaking the truth in a beautiful way.
6. - third eye, telepathic communication, understanding creation and causal?, mindfulness
and tranquility, being centered, two sides of the brain in perfect harmonious balance
7. - crown chakra, combines the first 6 levels?, focus on the divine, life purpose
and higher self, follow your divine purpose!, get your thinking pure and clear
8. - above your head. when this starts to open you will also get intel from past lives and
start to see and feel yourself more as a soul, not only this physical body. I mean that you
will probably feel more integrated and in connection and soulful.
9. - planetary chakra, very important that we wake up as species and take good loving care
of our planet and trust her
10. - solar system chakra, lot of confusion here because of manipulation and money and power
and lies lies; the truth is probably that our Sun is alive and a living being, as are our planets
11. - galactic chakra, very important to remember this one to go home! it is a female chakra and a
feeling center also and contacts and connects your feelings on a star level to meet your true family.
You have travelled here from many different places and when this chakra opens you will start to remember it
and see yourself also as a galactic being, and you will see through the 10th chakra money and country system.
12. - universal chakra, epic creation, stories, games, purpose of all this, mysteries.
In fact I think that you all have these chakras, only they are being blocked by unhealthy energies and unpurified dust
from the past. I feel sometimes very lonely because not many people would like to communicate on the 11th chakra... or they have simply forgotten and it is quite lonely there, but truly beautiful!
So we meet at this old Grey base but we managed to escape;
what they're doing here is that they were basically trapping people and
souls from different galaxies into these box-houses, feeding them
intel that distracts them from finding out their galactic origins;
that is, they don't want to let them to go beyond the 7th chakra.
In fact, many of them have the 1.-2. chakra imbalances, which are collectively
so big that they cannot even get past that.
The world globally is stuck at the 3rd chakra and making many unsuccesful
transitions to the 4th chakra (the female heart) in the past,
thus exploding and damaging the feeling centre even more.
Now the transition from the 3rd to the 4th chakra must occur; and mostly it
is being held back because of the unhealty power patterns I think, that is,
many people I think still believe that they have a right to mind-manipulate
and control other souls? that is, give orders in unhealthy ways.
We humans are actually meant to function in 12 chakras:
1. - survival and food, grounding
2. - sexuality, creativity, playfulness
3. - the feeling center, communication, power
4. - heart: divine love, caring, compassion // we're unable to get past it unless
we learn unselfish love, love that transcends the ego as well. It is simply a
condition that is required to get past this level or chakra, otherwise you would
again do too much damage in the higher realms. So we need to learn and practice
divine love, caring and compassion.
5. - throat chakra, singing, sound, creating atmosphere, harmonious relationships with other,
speaking the truth in a beautiful way.
6. - third eye, telepathic communication, understanding creation and causal?, mindfulness
and tranquility, being centered, two sides of the brain in perfect harmonious balance
7. - crown chakra, combines the first 6 levels?, focus on the divine, life purpose
and higher self, follow your divine purpose!, get your thinking pure and clear
8. - above your head. when this starts to open you will also get intel from past lives and
start to see and feel yourself more as a soul, not only this physical body. I mean that you
will probably feel more integrated and in connection and soulful.
9. - planetary chakra, very important that we wake up as species and take good loving care
of our planet and trust her
10. - solar system chakra, lot of confusion here because of manipulation and money and power
and lies lies; the truth is probably that our Sun is alive and a living being, as are our planets
11. - galactic chakra, very important to remember this one to go home! it is a female chakra and a
feeling center also and contacts and connects your feelings on a star level to meet your true family.
You have travelled here from many different places and when this chakra opens you will start to remember it
and see yourself also as a galactic being, and you will see through the 10th chakra money and country system.
12. - universal chakra, epic creation, stories, games, purpose of all this, mysteries.
In fact I think that you all have these chakras, only they are being blocked by unhealthy energies and unpurified dust
from the past. I feel sometimes very lonely because not many people would like to communicate on the 11th chakra... or they have simply forgotten and it is quite lonely there, but truly beautiful!
reede, 22. aprill 2016
Kevin from France also joins the party
I still cannot get past that hallway too easily, the hallway of the glorious guesthouse of Aravali. There were many incidents happening there. I remember one time when I was meditating on the couch again, the small electrical junction box about 1,5 meters above my head on the wall suddenly exploded! It went like buush! and started to emit a little bit of smoke.
Also when I sang the 18th variation from Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini by Rachmaninoff (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKZbvluHcNo) in that hallway the energy of the room started to change. I was alone and dared to go a bit further in practicing this. I did not know the meaning of it yet, but the melody was with me since Vienna. I stood up and let the sound waves of my own singing move me. The corridors responded and the sound vibrated between the walls, creating a whole new space to dance in. This piece is very female, isn't it?
I was getting more courageous and my ears were also functioning well, so I could freely sing there and when I heard somebody coming downstairs I simply tuned myself down a little bit, or kept silent, depending of who the person was who was approaching me.
Now there was a hippie-looking young man Kevin from France also visiting our guesthouse, and he was really ok and happy about life. I also had him on Facebook but deleted my previous account so I don't have it any more. Near him I could feel very free.
So one day when I was making really low and deep sounds in that hallway, Kevin walked downstairs, sit next to me and started to sing as well and reading his French poetry. It was truly awesome how it sounded. We also teach each other different tones and I then start singing this intro to the Beethoven's Fifth symphony (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKZbvluHcNo), making very low and powerful sounds and he finds it worth recording. He takes out a very small video camera which has no screen but could record video and asks me to sing it again! Ha ha. I don't know what happened to THIS exact recording but he probably took it to France with him.
We also go to the market place with Kevin and he buys me woollen hindi trousers of camel wool, I was really thankful for that present, very warm ones and useful in my later adventures!
Also when I sang the 18th variation from Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini by Rachmaninoff (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKZbvluHcNo) in that hallway the energy of the room started to change. I was alone and dared to go a bit further in practicing this. I did not know the meaning of it yet, but the melody was with me since Vienna. I stood up and let the sound waves of my own singing move me. The corridors responded and the sound vibrated between the walls, creating a whole new space to dance in. This piece is very female, isn't it?
I was getting more courageous and my ears were also functioning well, so I could freely sing there and when I heard somebody coming downstairs I simply tuned myself down a little bit, or kept silent, depending of who the person was who was approaching me.
Now there was a hippie-looking young man Kevin from France also visiting our guesthouse, and he was really ok and happy about life. I also had him on Facebook but deleted my previous account so I don't have it any more. Near him I could feel very free.
So one day when I was making really low and deep sounds in that hallway, Kevin walked downstairs, sit next to me and started to sing as well and reading his French poetry. It was truly awesome how it sounded. We also teach each other different tones and I then start singing this intro to the Beethoven's Fifth symphony (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKZbvluHcNo), making very low and powerful sounds and he finds it worth recording. He takes out a very small video camera which has no screen but could record video and asks me to sing it again! Ha ha. I don't know what happened to THIS exact recording but he probably took it to France with him.
We also go to the market place with Kevin and he buys me woollen hindi trousers of camel wool, I was really thankful for that present, very warm ones and useful in my later adventures!
kolmapäev, 20. aprill 2016
Visiting the gypsy camp with Surya
The old French guy Surya was still constantly present at Aravali, he kept visiting me and seeing me. We visited town major with him to talk about the issues in Pushkar - I almost told the major about the priests' mafia that was disturbing me but decided that it was better to keep my mouth shut at that moment. I helped Surya with e-mails many times, translating the incoming ones and typing in the outgoing ones. One day he told me that he is going to visit the gypsies' camp again that is outside the town and asked me if I would like to go along with him.
For me it went surprisingly easy to get permissions from Ravi when I told that Surya needs me. I already had quite some freedom there and it was no problem. So he came after me to Aravali guesthouse and we left together. We went to the market place and he bought some oranges to take with us, when we started to head outside the town to the desert area.
We walked on a hot day few miles on the sandy roads, and meanwhile Surya told me that one guy in the gypsy camp had fallen from a motorbike and he has a wound that needs to be healed in the hospital, but he has no money to pay to the hospital.
We reached the gypsy camp at it was really like few tents, some miles outside of the town. In one tent there was a woman lying down on a bed, and Surya asked for her health and explained that he had helped her to give birth lately in that tent (I am not sure about this, but this is highly probable). And now he asked about how she is and if the baby is okay. They seemed to be alive and ok, the woman seemed weak, but smiling.
We shared the oranges that we had brought and one very kind-looking gypsy woman peeled them and gave pieces of fresh orange back to me as I was sitting down next to these wonderful people. I was surprised, they were like in complete poverty, but sharing food in such a natural and loving manner to a white guy! I was not expecting such heartful and warm behaviour.
Then the guy who had fallen from the motorbike showed the wound on his head to Surya, and it did not seem too bad. (Later I think we also went to hospital or drugstore with Surya to get him something, I don't remember this part too well. But this guy needed help and had no money, and Surya was bringing medicine to them and giving medical help.)
Then there was one of the most wonderful things I had seen for a long time! There were two gypsy girls playing around us (I think about 4 and 7 years old) hide and seek and running around, and they were full of such pure joy and enthusiasm and laughter, I had never seen anything like this before! They were like true starchildren, and I got instant connection with them! They found it funny that I was this tall white guy (you know, 192 cm at those areas is very tall!), and they started to play with me. They both grabbed one of my hands, and I lifted them up and as if I was a big swing for them. They also liked when I lifted them up high and they laughed and laughed and took turns doing this. It was so much fun and they were like pure joy, eyes shining with starlight.
I kept playing with the children as Surya told the older women that he was about to build house for them and he showed them where. Surya later told me that the gypsies are "his caste" (in the hindi caste system).
When we left their small camping area or village of few tents, the news had already spread that there's a big white guy visiting them, and when we walked back, more local children followed me and approached really openly and I lifted them up with my arms and walked on, this was truly awesome. I felt so strong and joyful at the same time. They were following us for a while, laughing, and then went back.
For me it went surprisingly easy to get permissions from Ravi when I told that Surya needs me. I already had quite some freedom there and it was no problem. So he came after me to Aravali guesthouse and we left together. We went to the market place and he bought some oranges to take with us, when we started to head outside the town to the desert area.
We walked on a hot day few miles on the sandy roads, and meanwhile Surya told me that one guy in the gypsy camp had fallen from a motorbike and he has a wound that needs to be healed in the hospital, but he has no money to pay to the hospital.
We reached the gypsy camp at it was really like few tents, some miles outside of the town. In one tent there was a woman lying down on a bed, and Surya asked for her health and explained that he had helped her to give birth lately in that tent (I am not sure about this, but this is highly probable). And now he asked about how she is and if the baby is okay. They seemed to be alive and ok, the woman seemed weak, but smiling.
We shared the oranges that we had brought and one very kind-looking gypsy woman peeled them and gave pieces of fresh orange back to me as I was sitting down next to these wonderful people. I was surprised, they were like in complete poverty, but sharing food in such a natural and loving manner to a white guy! I was not expecting such heartful and warm behaviour.
Then the guy who had fallen from the motorbike showed the wound on his head to Surya, and it did not seem too bad. (Later I think we also went to hospital or drugstore with Surya to get him something, I don't remember this part too well. But this guy needed help and had no money, and Surya was bringing medicine to them and giving medical help.)
Then there was one of the most wonderful things I had seen for a long time! There were two gypsy girls playing around us (I think about 4 and 7 years old) hide and seek and running around, and they were full of such pure joy and enthusiasm and laughter, I had never seen anything like this before! They were like true starchildren, and I got instant connection with them! They found it funny that I was this tall white guy (you know, 192 cm at those areas is very tall!), and they started to play with me. They both grabbed one of my hands, and I lifted them up and as if I was a big swing for them. They also liked when I lifted them up high and they laughed and laughed and took turns doing this. It was so much fun and they were like pure joy, eyes shining with starlight.
I kept playing with the children as Surya told the older women that he was about to build house for them and he showed them where. Surya later told me that the gypsies are "his caste" (in the hindi caste system).
When we left their small camping area or village of few tents, the news had already spread that there's a big white guy visiting them, and when we walked back, more local children followed me and approached really openly and I lifted them up with my arms and walked on, this was truly awesome. I felt so strong and joyful at the same time. They were following us for a while, laughing, and then went back.
Soul lines and divine timing
I discovered today that the people I met; I am usually drawn to them by certain soul lines, on various depths. This means that it is not actually only emotional body that decides whether or not it is necessary to meet somebody or be in a group, but the decision is being made even deeper and on a soul level.
I have practiced living like this for quite a while, but it has been quite natural and subconscious, which means that I probably have been doing this without thinking about it, assuming that it is common. But this morning I got this idea that there are certain soul lines that draw necessary people together.
Now, the trick again is the level of awareness, paying attention etc. Often I walk on the street and some people choose the same trajectory with me, almost bumping into me. As I see it, they are seeking a soul level connection with me, our souls want to communicate, and their subconscious draws them towards me, but it seems to me that they are not consciously aware/open enough for the communication to actually start; and it also has to do with cultural norms, such as: don't talk to people on the street.
For me practicing yoga is what unites these levels inside me, soul level, subconscious, emotional body, thinking, and being aware. So for me it is no problem suddenly to know _why_ I am at some place, or _what_ do we have to share with each other if I am meeting someone. In fact, I am very often asking and seeking answers to these questions :)
I have practiced living like this for quite a while, but it has been quite natural and subconscious, which means that I probably have been doing this without thinking about it, assuming that it is common. But this morning I got this idea that there are certain soul lines that draw necessary people together.
Now, the trick again is the level of awareness, paying attention etc. Often I walk on the street and some people choose the same trajectory with me, almost bumping into me. As I see it, they are seeking a soul level connection with me, our souls want to communicate, and their subconscious draws them towards me, but it seems to me that they are not consciously aware/open enough for the communication to actually start; and it also has to do with cultural norms, such as: don't talk to people on the street.
For me practicing yoga is what unites these levels inside me, soul level, subconscious, emotional body, thinking, and being aware. So for me it is no problem suddenly to know _why_ I am at some place, or _what_ do we have to share with each other if I am meeting someone. In fact, I am very often asking and seeking answers to these questions :)
esmaspäev, 18. aprill 2016
Rose quartz crystals and a laptop that is free for everyone
Before I can continue with the Pushkar story, I have something to confess. I have kept this a bit secret because I had a very strong feeling attached to it, right after the Night of Destiny, September 16-17, 2015.
It has to do with a certain laptop that I freely left somewhere. In morning of September 17, when walking back from Tartu Public Library of Oskar Luts, I knew that there would be no fckn technology unless I had left this laptop there; back in the autumn of 2013. I am still a bit shivering but it goes like this:
When I was in Vienna in the summer of 2013, I bought a laptop from there with about 300 euros and used it to play poker for living, July-August 2013. In September 2013 I came back to Tartu and I had a lot of free money. What I did with this money, apart from the one-way India ticket, I bought one rose quartz crystal from Valgusesaar via the automatic-box post system. This crystal then told me to buy 250+ rose crystals more, I think it was 254 or something like that.
I ordered them and it was like 200+ euros. I then started to use these crystals to create a network in Tartu. Getting inspiration from Jordan David's videos, I started to drop these crystals in Tartu, for random people to find them, leavin them on the ground, on the benches, in department stores, at food shops like Maxima, on the bridges. I also ordered like 100 Dirty Harry orgonites from South Africa for $200+ and put them under the electrc high-voltage line posts, under big mobile antenna posts and under the big tele-antenna post in Tartu, together with the rose quartz crystals, which beautifully carry our heart chakra energies and one of their qualities is divine love and the healing of broken hearts.
I also put some of them in countryside in damaged forest areas, and also orgonite around our small potato field together with my brother. Also I use orgonite in the electric box in the hallway of our Tartu apartment, and I kept a bucket full of orgonite in that old house between the garden and my apartment on Lina street in Tartu, creating a powerfully free electromagnetic area, easily accesible for higher wisdom and loving-friendly connections from above, also helped a lot with the pineal connections.
I also drop like 18-20 orgonites around the Trepimäe country house in the forest for protection after I came back from India, in summer 2014, but Trepimäe is another big story.
So back to the laptop. One day in Tartu, autumn 2013, I got sudden inspiration to give the Vienna laptop away. I was already used to generous deeds a bit, and I had two laptops, and I needed only one. So I took the Vienna laptop, put free Linux distro on it, create a desktop with welcoming letters. Then I open the browser and put into bookmarks my favourite pieces of Beethoven. I also add Angel Academy ep. 6 into bookmarks and open a Youtube video Angel Academy ep. 4 - Living from the Heart and put it into pause right before Drunvalo starts to speak. I then leave the laptop at Tartu, Genialistide Klubi on a table and write with a marker inside it, above the keyboard: "This laptop is free for everyone". I also make a smiley on the back of that laptop. So I gave this laptop freely away by leaving it on a table together with headphones, Living from the Heart on a pause; whoever was about to find it, leaving it up to the universe and Mother Earth, same with the crystals, as random and trusting as possible (the female way).
Many crystals also took a trip with me to India! (Where I obviously dropped them :))
It has to do with a certain laptop that I freely left somewhere. In morning of September 17, when walking back from Tartu Public Library of Oskar Luts, I knew that there would be no fckn technology unless I had left this laptop there; back in the autumn of 2013. I am still a bit shivering but it goes like this:
When I was in Vienna in the summer of 2013, I bought a laptop from there with about 300 euros and used it to play poker for living, July-August 2013. In September 2013 I came back to Tartu and I had a lot of free money. What I did with this money, apart from the one-way India ticket, I bought one rose quartz crystal from Valgusesaar via the automatic-box post system. This crystal then told me to buy 250+ rose crystals more, I think it was 254 or something like that.
I ordered them and it was like 200+ euros. I then started to use these crystals to create a network in Tartu. Getting inspiration from Jordan David's videos, I started to drop these crystals in Tartu, for random people to find them, leavin them on the ground, on the benches, in department stores, at food shops like Maxima, on the bridges. I also ordered like 100 Dirty Harry orgonites from South Africa for $200+ and put them under the electrc high-voltage line posts, under big mobile antenna posts and under the big tele-antenna post in Tartu, together with the rose quartz crystals, which beautifully carry our heart chakra energies and one of their qualities is divine love and the healing of broken hearts.
I also put some of them in countryside in damaged forest areas, and also orgonite around our small potato field together with my brother. Also I use orgonite in the electric box in the hallway of our Tartu apartment, and I kept a bucket full of orgonite in that old house between the garden and my apartment on Lina street in Tartu, creating a powerfully free electromagnetic area, easily accesible for higher wisdom and loving-friendly connections from above, also helped a lot with the pineal connections.
I also drop like 18-20 orgonites around the Trepimäe country house in the forest for protection after I came back from India, in summer 2014, but Trepimäe is another big story.
So back to the laptop. One day in Tartu, autumn 2013, I got sudden inspiration to give the Vienna laptop away. I was already used to generous deeds a bit, and I had two laptops, and I needed only one. So I took the Vienna laptop, put free Linux distro on it, create a desktop with welcoming letters. Then I open the browser and put into bookmarks my favourite pieces of Beethoven. I also add Angel Academy ep. 6 into bookmarks and open a Youtube video Angel Academy ep. 4 - Living from the Heart and put it into pause right before Drunvalo starts to speak. I then leave the laptop at Tartu, Genialistide Klubi on a table and write with a marker inside it, above the keyboard: "This laptop is free for everyone". I also make a smiley on the back of that laptop. So I gave this laptop freely away by leaving it on a table together with headphones, Living from the Heart on a pause; whoever was about to find it, leaving it up to the universe and Mother Earth, same with the crystals, as random and trusting as possible (the female way).
Many crystals also took a trip with me to India! (Where I obviously dropped them :))
laupäev, 16. aprill 2016
Telepathic communication with a spaceship in Pushkar. A small introduction.
One evening when I wandered around the road that went uphill near the lakeside, I decided to make it further than I usually had. I continued via the official "Pilgrim walk" way (I found it a bit funny - shouldn't these walks always be a self-discovery, a road to go on your own?) - and then there was a well on the left side. I drank some water and moved on.
Some tourist-looking people approached me and looked at me a bit curiously - who was this guy, walking outside the town in the evening, when it's already getting a bit dark? But I successfully passed them and then there were some walls on the right side of the road. There were also some bushes and some sharp thistles (any biologists reading this: sorry, they probably weren't "thistles", but they looked more thistles than cactuses, this is what I can give you right now) and I think that some rubbish also.
But I knew that it was the spot, by this I mean that it simply felt a good spot to meditate a little bit. So I sit down among these rocks and bushes and wait. And then of course, a star appears in the sky that starts to blink weirdly. How do you distinguish a star from a spaceship? The spaceship will usually start to communicate with you directly, thru your third eye, in the middle of your forehead.
So I very soon understood that this was a spaceship and not an ordinary star. I think that this was my first encouter as direct as this, and the experience could look weird from a "normal" perspective, but it felt so right and there was not much question about this.
So they simply send me some energy or light codes by blinking and talking to me - by talking I mean that I could intentionally feel their intellect and somehow abstract mental patterns - I think that they are usually operating beyond ordinary human language.
So they send me these light codes and I respond by simply being who I am. You don't even have to send thoughts to them - they pick up your vibration much better if you just be who you truly are. We had an interesting conversation, but I am still not sure what was the intel that I was given - I guess probably light codes for timing my further actions, recieving it straight to my subconscious. Anyway it was fun, and yes I bet that some part of me thought that it was crazy (instructions for moving between two realms, got it!), but I was already getting used to these things and trusting my gut feeling and heart more than ever before.
Some tourist-looking people approached me and looked at me a bit curiously - who was this guy, walking outside the town in the evening, when it's already getting a bit dark? But I successfully passed them and then there were some walls on the right side of the road. There were also some bushes and some sharp thistles (any biologists reading this: sorry, they probably weren't "thistles", but they looked more thistles than cactuses, this is what I can give you right now) and I think that some rubbish also.
But I knew that it was the spot, by this I mean that it simply felt a good spot to meditate a little bit. So I sit down among these rocks and bushes and wait. And then of course, a star appears in the sky that starts to blink weirdly. How do you distinguish a star from a spaceship? The spaceship will usually start to communicate with you directly, thru your third eye, in the middle of your forehead.
So I very soon understood that this was a spaceship and not an ordinary star. I think that this was my first encouter as direct as this, and the experience could look weird from a "normal" perspective, but it felt so right and there was not much question about this.
So they simply send me some energy or light codes by blinking and talking to me - by talking I mean that I could intentionally feel their intellect and somehow abstract mental patterns - I think that they are usually operating beyond ordinary human language.
So they send me these light codes and I respond by simply being who I am. You don't even have to send thoughts to them - they pick up your vibration much better if you just be who you truly are. We had an interesting conversation, but I am still not sure what was the intel that I was given - I guess probably light codes for timing my further actions, recieving it straight to my subconscious. Anyway it was fun, and yes I bet that some part of me thought that it was crazy (instructions for moving between two realms, got it!), but I was already getting used to these things and trusting my gut feeling and heart more than ever before.
kolmapäev, 13. aprill 2016
Sleeping a lot in Aravali and the arrival of Tanya
Next to the hallway where I was guarding and singing was the back room of sleeping. There was a big bed and some shelves and a clock on the wall, which had an interesting geometrical shape: two squares on the top of each other, one tilted 45 degrees, forming a beautiful eightfold pattern. I am sure that it has something to do with the dimensional fields, I think that back then it represented an upgrade from Star of David (from 6 to 8) or an entrance to the next dimensional stage or field, number 8 and the two squares symbolising stability and inner richness.
I used to sleep in that bed as much as possible, or simply lying down there and using the ashtanga breath, looking how long I could extend it. Back then I sometimes lied down there and watched the clock on the wall, breathing two deep breaths in one minute for two hours in a row, my body processing all kind of energies at the same time.
In the nights we were like three guys together, sleeping in one big bed under one big blanket, me with Seti and Ravi, with clothes on. The hindi guys had an interesting way of sleeping: they always pulled the blanket over their head, covering their face. I only saw it in that hotel, in other places I think that I did not encouter such behaviour. It seemed a bit unnatural and funny to me though, blocking the fresh air.
But in the evenings when I was a bit tired I could also guard the entrance by lying down in that back room, and when I heard someone coming, I would jump up and introduce them to the guesthouse. I had learned this trick from Ravi, but he was much better at it. I sometimes missed the guests and they kept on wandering on their own until they met Seti or Ravi or simply left.
So I think I remember that once when I was again resting at the back room, Ravi came in with someone's passport to later make a copy of it, happy as always when he had caught another tourist. But this time I immediately felt a strong connection with the name and picture in the passport that I had flashingly seen. I knew that this person was someone special and I wanted to find out who she was.
Soon after that there came a day where I was working quite hard with the dishes but eating very little. So it was in the evening when Ravi had invited couple of friends over to the rooftop cafe, sitting around a low table. They were eating and drinking and having a good time. Ravi was taking their orders and cooking for them together with Seti or just sitting with them and talking.
My task was to serve them from the kitchen, but sometimes I could also simply be with them. Together with these local friends of Ravi there was also a dark-skinned woman sitting at the table. She ordered French fries, somebody cooked them, and I probably brought them from the kitchen, even though I am not sure about that.
Then it happened again that I had some free time to sit together with them and enjoy their company. The woman started to offer French fries from her plate to others, but they were very polite and always rejecting or only taking first time and only a very little bit.
I had no problem accepting food when somebody offered me, in fact, that is how I mostly lived there. So the next time when she offered food from her plate to everybody, they were all like rejecting, but when she then offered it to me over the table, diagonally, I had an interesting choice to make.
First, I knew that all eyes were on me, because I was the only white person in that group. Then I also knew that according to their traditions and manners, it would be polite to reject the food that I had not bought by myself. And also, any kind of somewhat closer connection with a female in a public group or open area was usually under very careful attention.
But I had not eaten since morning. And then I simply went with the zen thinking: "Look, here's a hungry man and here's the food," and I simply took some fries from her plate as she smiled kindly to me. She looked at me and I felt some understanding and compassion.
Later when all had left, Ravi was upset with me and said: "Look, don't take food from others at the table. It is bad manners and everyone sees that you're this hungry person there, watching other people's food, and it's a shame." But I think that I knew pretty well what I was doing...
I used to sleep in that bed as much as possible, or simply lying down there and using the ashtanga breath, looking how long I could extend it. Back then I sometimes lied down there and watched the clock on the wall, breathing two deep breaths in one minute for two hours in a row, my body processing all kind of energies at the same time.
In the nights we were like three guys together, sleeping in one big bed under one big blanket, me with Seti and Ravi, with clothes on. The hindi guys had an interesting way of sleeping: they always pulled the blanket over their head, covering their face. I only saw it in that hotel, in other places I think that I did not encouter such behaviour. It seemed a bit unnatural and funny to me though, blocking the fresh air.
But in the evenings when I was a bit tired I could also guard the entrance by lying down in that back room, and when I heard someone coming, I would jump up and introduce them to the guesthouse. I had learned this trick from Ravi, but he was much better at it. I sometimes missed the guests and they kept on wandering on their own until they met Seti or Ravi or simply left.
So I think I remember that once when I was again resting at the back room, Ravi came in with someone's passport to later make a copy of it, happy as always when he had caught another tourist. But this time I immediately felt a strong connection with the name and picture in the passport that I had flashingly seen. I knew that this person was someone special and I wanted to find out who she was.
Soon after that there came a day where I was working quite hard with the dishes but eating very little. So it was in the evening when Ravi had invited couple of friends over to the rooftop cafe, sitting around a low table. They were eating and drinking and having a good time. Ravi was taking their orders and cooking for them together with Seti or just sitting with them and talking.
My task was to serve them from the kitchen, but sometimes I could also simply be with them. Together with these local friends of Ravi there was also a dark-skinned woman sitting at the table. She ordered French fries, somebody cooked them, and I probably brought them from the kitchen, even though I am not sure about that.
Then it happened again that I had some free time to sit together with them and enjoy their company. The woman started to offer French fries from her plate to others, but they were very polite and always rejecting or only taking first time and only a very little bit.
I had no problem accepting food when somebody offered me, in fact, that is how I mostly lived there. So the next time when she offered food from her plate to everybody, they were all like rejecting, but when she then offered it to me over the table, diagonally, I had an interesting choice to make.
First, I knew that all eyes were on me, because I was the only white person in that group. Then I also knew that according to their traditions and manners, it would be polite to reject the food that I had not bought by myself. And also, any kind of somewhat closer connection with a female in a public group or open area was usually under very careful attention.
But I had not eaten since morning. And then I simply went with the zen thinking: "Look, here's a hungry man and here's the food," and I simply took some fries from her plate as she smiled kindly to me. She looked at me and I felt some understanding and compassion.
Later when all had left, Ravi was upset with me and said: "Look, don't take food from others at the table. It is bad manners and everyone sees that you're this hungry person there, watching other people's food, and it's a shame." But I think that I knew pretty well what I was doing...
teisipäev, 5. aprill 2016
Väike sissevaade Aravali katusekööki
Ma olin harjunud Aravali katusekohvikus nõusid pesema - jah, köök oli katusel ja kohvik oli samuti katusel. See kuulus minu kohustuste hulka: hoida nõud puhtad. Teinekord tõusin vara kui hommik oli veel jahe ja õhk oli veel nii värske ja sundisin ennast minema kööki ja alustama külmast veel veidi värisevate kätega nõudepesu.
Võis ka juhtuda, et Seti tegi kõrval chaid või lõikas ingverit või lihtsalt puhastas lapiga lauda... Seti oli kohalik noormees ja Ravi hea sõber, kes ka selles hotellis töötas. Mulle tuleb meelde, et küllaltki algusaegadel, kui ma alles seal hotellis tööd alustasin, tegime Setiga samamoodi köögis kõrvuti tööd ja siis ta lasi oma mobiilist mingit kohalikku Rajastani hindi poplugu, millel oli täiega hea biit ja siis me suht tantsisime koos seal köögis - mina pesin muusika rütmis nõusid ja tema toimetas kõrval, mu vasakul käel.
Nad tahtsid ka mulle chai ja chapati tegemist õpetada, et ma saaksin turiste teenindada, aga kokanduse kohta ma ütlesin neile, et ma ei oska mitte ühtegi rooga valmistada. Pisut ka selleks, et pääseda kardetavatest koormavatest kohustustest, et ma saaksin süüa, mitte ei peaks teistele süüa tegema - kartsin, et ma ei saa sellega hakkama, ma olin söögitegemises väga ebakindel ja niigi oli muid jamasid päris palju.
Chaid ja ginger lemon honey tea'd ma siiski serveerisin ja hiljem teises kohas õppisin ka paremini chapatisid tegema. Seal katusel oli päris ilus ja varsti hakkas sinna ka huvitavat rahvast saabuma.
Võis ka juhtuda, et Seti tegi kõrval chaid või lõikas ingverit või lihtsalt puhastas lapiga lauda... Seti oli kohalik noormees ja Ravi hea sõber, kes ka selles hotellis töötas. Mulle tuleb meelde, et küllaltki algusaegadel, kui ma alles seal hotellis tööd alustasin, tegime Setiga samamoodi köögis kõrvuti tööd ja siis ta lasi oma mobiilist mingit kohalikku Rajastani hindi poplugu, millel oli täiega hea biit ja siis me suht tantsisime koos seal köögis - mina pesin muusika rütmis nõusid ja tema toimetas kõrval, mu vasakul käel.
Nad tahtsid ka mulle chai ja chapati tegemist õpetada, et ma saaksin turiste teenindada, aga kokanduse kohta ma ütlesin neile, et ma ei oska mitte ühtegi rooga valmistada. Pisut ka selleks, et pääseda kardetavatest koormavatest kohustustest, et ma saaksin süüa, mitte ei peaks teistele süüa tegema - kartsin, et ma ei saa sellega hakkama, ma olin söögitegemises väga ebakindel ja niigi oli muid jamasid päris palju.
Chaid ja ginger lemon honey tea'd ma siiski serveerisin ja hiljem teises kohas õppisin ka paremini chapatisid tegema. Seal katusel oli päris ilus ja varsti hakkas sinna ka huvitavat rahvast saabuma.
esmaspäev, 4. aprill 2016
Sädelus öös
Võib juhtuda, et sa teed midagi täiesti pühendunult ja pannes kaalule kõik, mis sul vähegi on, kogu oma elu, kogu oma olemuse, viimase kui piirini. Ja siis sa teed seda, ja see on nagu meeleheitlik tants pimeduses, sa ei tea tagajärgi, sa võid vaid kaugelt, väikeste märkide abil midagi aimata. Ja ometi see tants või hingestatud ekstaatiline vahekord maailmaga nõuab sult kogu su jõudu ja isegi nihutab su võimete piiri järjest edasi, üle igasuguste mõistlike normide, ja sa hakkad loomulikuks pidama asju, mida sa poleks iial arvanud, et sa üldse teha võiksid suuta, ja reaalsused vahetuvad tohutu kiirusega.
Ja siis ühel hetkel sa oled mingis punktis ja saad aru, et keegi on sulle vastanud, su omas keeles, rohkem kui sada aastat hiljem... Ja sa ei suuda seda uskuda, ja kui see sõnum jõuab kohale ja sa oled täiesti hingetu ja niigi juba ammu sealt kohast lootuse kaotanud, saad sa teada, et.......
Et maailm armastab sind vastu kõige salapärasemal ja põnevamal kombel, üha uuesti ja uuesti, just sinule sobival viisil, justkui ta olekski unikaalselt määratud just nimelt sulle; ta armastab sind täpselt nii palju ja enamgi veel, kui sa oleksid kõige rohkem tahtnud; aga sa ei suuda seda uskuda - ja siis sa oled selles punktis ja oled millestki aru saanud ja ennast tühjaks nutnud ja vaheldumisi õnnest naernud ja kui see sõnum jõuab sulle kohale, suudad sa vaid hämmastunult ja õrnalt, omaette mõned sõnad kuuldavale tuua: ... "ma arvasin, et ei olegi..."
Aga siis alles läheb seiklus edasi, sest endiselt on veel täiesti teadmata: aga kus ta siis on? Ta tuleb üles otsida, aga kuidas? Ja siis sa lihtsalt lähed tunde järgi, millegi ees tagasi kohkumata, ja ootad ja harjutad ja see on nagu jaht ja usalduse test ja kõigi su võimete proovilepanek üheaegselt :) Ja kuidas sa saad maailma pärast seda mitte armastada?
Ja siis ühel hetkel sa oled mingis punktis ja saad aru, et keegi on sulle vastanud, su omas keeles, rohkem kui sada aastat hiljem... Ja sa ei suuda seda uskuda, ja kui see sõnum jõuab kohale ja sa oled täiesti hingetu ja niigi juba ammu sealt kohast lootuse kaotanud, saad sa teada, et.......
Et maailm armastab sind vastu kõige salapärasemal ja põnevamal kombel, üha uuesti ja uuesti, just sinule sobival viisil, justkui ta olekski unikaalselt määratud just nimelt sulle; ta armastab sind täpselt nii palju ja enamgi veel, kui sa oleksid kõige rohkem tahtnud; aga sa ei suuda seda uskuda - ja siis sa oled selles punktis ja oled millestki aru saanud ja ennast tühjaks nutnud ja vaheldumisi õnnest naernud ja kui see sõnum jõuab sulle kohale, suudad sa vaid hämmastunult ja õrnalt, omaette mõned sõnad kuuldavale tuua: ... "ma arvasin, et ei olegi..."
Aga siis alles läheb seiklus edasi, sest endiselt on veel täiesti teadmata: aga kus ta siis on? Ta tuleb üles otsida, aga kuidas? Ja siis sa lihtsalt lähed tunde järgi, millegi ees tagasi kohkumata, ja ootad ja harjutad ja see on nagu jaht ja usalduse test ja kõigi su võimete proovilepanek üheaegselt :) Ja kuidas sa saad maailma pärast seda mitte armastada?
laupäev, 2. aprill 2016
Pushkaris.
Proloog.
Eriväljaõppega dessantväelane laskus kiiresti Maa poole. Ta oli vabatahtlikult tulnud, et siinset olukorda aidata.
//
Küllalt sageli võis juhtuda, et istusin Aravali külalistemaja fuajees ja laulsin. Sealsetel koridoridel oli väga hea akustika ja mulle meeldis katsetada oma hääle erinevaid tasandeid. Kuna aega oli tookord tavaliselt pikalt või isegi veidi ülegi, sain rahulikult läbi võtta erinevat repertuaari oma lemmiksümfooniatest.
Tegin vaheldumisi sügavat meditatsiooni koos ashtanga kogukeha-hingamisega, laulsin, ja harjutasin ka vilistamist. Viimane oli eriti hea, juhuks kui häälepaelad juhtusid jälle ära väsima. Siis vaheldumisi jälle laulmist või lihtsalt meditatsiooni. (Istusin diivanil, väga mugav oli kusjuures.)
Niimoodi lauldes võib teinekord päris sügavale liikuda ja avastada oma seesmistest sfääridest seni varjul olnud teadmisi või oskusi. Avastasin, et kui lasin lauldes häälel tekkida oma kõhu alaosas, võisin tooniga minna eriti sügavale ja madalale.
Midagi väga ilusat, iidset ja ürgset oli Pushkari järve põhjas, ja ma resoneerusin sellega tugevalt läbi laulu. See justkui aitas mul leida neid sügavaid ja ülimadalaid toone mus eneses, ja juhatas mind naturaalselt mulle veel seni teadmata, sügavsinise, tumeda, veepõhjas peituva rahu poole. Tõstsin selle oma häälega üles, aitasin sellel tõusta ja välja tulla, see oleks olnud nagu vana, sajandeid tolmunud tähelaev, mis ootas oma tarkust ja õiget ajajärku, õiget hetke; see oli mattunud järve põhja ja ootas, ootas mind; aga nüüd ma olin siin ja sealsamas ja tõstsin selle oma häälega paar kraadi pinnale lähemale.
See tahtis tõusta ja see oli sügavalt intelligentne. Vee alla peidetud kosmoselaev oleks vist enam-vähem õige väljendus toimunud protsessi kohta. Kes on Pushkaris käinud, see teab, ma arvan, või on kogenud vähemalt pisutki seda maagilist, võluvat rahu, mis õhkub nende sügavast ja salapärasest järvest.
Armastusest tulvil mälestuste voog, aga see ei jäänud kaugeltki mitte mu ainsaks võluvaks kohtumiseks tolles tavapärasest pühamas linnas.
Eriväljaõppega dessantväelane laskus kiiresti Maa poole. Ta oli vabatahtlikult tulnud, et siinset olukorda aidata.
//
Küllalt sageli võis juhtuda, et istusin Aravali külalistemaja fuajees ja laulsin. Sealsetel koridoridel oli väga hea akustika ja mulle meeldis katsetada oma hääle erinevaid tasandeid. Kuna aega oli tookord tavaliselt pikalt või isegi veidi ülegi, sain rahulikult läbi võtta erinevat repertuaari oma lemmiksümfooniatest.
Tegin vaheldumisi sügavat meditatsiooni koos ashtanga kogukeha-hingamisega, laulsin, ja harjutasin ka vilistamist. Viimane oli eriti hea, juhuks kui häälepaelad juhtusid jälle ära väsima. Siis vaheldumisi jälle laulmist või lihtsalt meditatsiooni. (Istusin diivanil, väga mugav oli kusjuures.)
Niimoodi lauldes võib teinekord päris sügavale liikuda ja avastada oma seesmistest sfääridest seni varjul olnud teadmisi või oskusi. Avastasin, et kui lasin lauldes häälel tekkida oma kõhu alaosas, võisin tooniga minna eriti sügavale ja madalale.
Midagi väga ilusat, iidset ja ürgset oli Pushkari järve põhjas, ja ma resoneerusin sellega tugevalt läbi laulu. See justkui aitas mul leida neid sügavaid ja ülimadalaid toone mus eneses, ja juhatas mind naturaalselt mulle veel seni teadmata, sügavsinise, tumeda, veepõhjas peituva rahu poole. Tõstsin selle oma häälega üles, aitasin sellel tõusta ja välja tulla, see oleks olnud nagu vana, sajandeid tolmunud tähelaev, mis ootas oma tarkust ja õiget ajajärku, õiget hetke; see oli mattunud järve põhja ja ootas, ootas mind; aga nüüd ma olin siin ja sealsamas ja tõstsin selle oma häälega paar kraadi pinnale lähemale.
See tahtis tõusta ja see oli sügavalt intelligentne. Vee alla peidetud kosmoselaev oleks vist enam-vähem õige väljendus toimunud protsessi kohta. Kes on Pushkaris käinud, see teab, ma arvan, või on kogenud vähemalt pisutki seda maagilist, võluvat rahu, mis õhkub nende sügavast ja salapärasest järvest.
Armastusest tulvil mälestuste voog, aga see ei jäänud kaugeltki mitte mu ainsaks võluvaks kohtumiseks tolles tavapärasest pühamas linnas.
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